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Category Archives: Poetry

Food Comes To No Good

I want to be
Diaphanous. So thin
You don’t know I’m here.
Wraithlike, drawn like the
Wire, sounding only when
Plucked, brushed,
No voice of my own.

Wispy, vaporous.
Watery.

This business of
Food in the mouth
Comes to no good.
Disgusting (I tell myself)
But there I go again.

Walk a little more.
Lift a little more.
Did you eat that?
Why? Do something
About it. Get rid of it.
You don’t want that
In you.

But you will do it
Again. And again
You will feel
The shame of consumption,
Existence. The physical needs
That keep you.

From being
Insubstantial.

The constant failure
To not be
As I am supposed to be.
As I am told to be
Thin.

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2024 in Culture, Food, Poetry, psychology

 

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Skookum

I had this dream.

A longing. A thirst.

I would go to the Pacific Northwest
And live among the tall trees.
Wake to cedar and coffee,
Fish for salmon,
Create.

I would learn from the Chinook,
Keep my mythos close to me,
Prosper from the green land,
Take life as pleasure.

I even learned their Trade Jargon,
The Chinook Wau-wau so much the
Creole of the Pacific Northwest.

I am called there but
It is a battle upstream
And I am exhausted,
Humpbacked,
Old.

I am too busy working to spawn.

Listen to me.
As we sit here across this table,
As I decide what to wear,
Think about how long my day will feel,
Taste the dry breakfast I eat of need
And not desire,
I sip the strong splendor;
My salvation in a cup,
My blessed Skookum.
As I listen to you drone—
Your day, our life,
How good it all is—
All I want to say is
Halo Wau-wau, Muckamuck Kaupy:

“Shut Up and Drink the Coffee.”

I had written this poem for one purpose: to win a year’s supply of coffee. And I did. But, after the publication of Skookum, I began to get emails. Phone calls. Concern. How are you? I didn’t know it was that bad. Are you getting a divorce? Because, it would seem, people cannot fathom a poem that isn’t fiction. (The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea. In a beautiful pea-green boat.) I asked them, did they think Hotel California was nonfiction? Did they think Don Henley and Glenn Frey were really trapped in a Satanic hotel? And my marriage was just fine, thank you.

And so was my year’s supply of Raven’s Brew Coffee.

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2024 in Poetry, Writing

 

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There Is Too Much

There is too much-
The coming and going of pixels, products, and personalities,
Demands, desires, deadlines, debts,
Bandwidth saturation and buffering,
Buffering, always,
While the world continues to clickclick.

Who hears anything?
Who sees anything?

Pay attention—a friend of mine just died. I didn't write acquaintance. I wrote friend.
He needed things. Not much.
I couldn't pay attention.
It isn't all my fault, but
Really it is.
Not his death, but
He could have left with more love and
Care. Instead of waiting…
Waiting for the buffering to clear.
 
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Posted by on December 22, 2021 in Poetry, Social

 

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The Vigil

This is the vigil-
To protect you from the wolves
After the nights
Sitting up,
Singing to you
Heart Sutra.
“Don’t leave me.”
I won’t.

Holding your hand,
Touching your heart,
Fingers in your hair.
“You don’t get tired.”
It isn’t time for me
To rest.
For you though –

Watching you breathe
Watching you stop.

Open the doors.
Sunrise.
Keep the wolves away.
Wait.

Feel the sudden change.
“Where is she?”
Gone. Gone. Beyond gone.
Beyond beyond.
To the other shore.

Let the people roll in,
Roll out.

Gather the sheet,
Tie it around your body,
Carry it away.

Carry it away.

 
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Posted by on December 2, 2021 in Family, Poetry, Religion

 

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Shudder Reflex

I’m trying to write 
a poem about a man who
died with a hood on his head,
naked, on the street,
pleading for his life,
murdered while the cameras rolled,
at the hands of those
who are supposed to protect him— 
a public snuff film.

I’m sorry, I don’t remember his name.
There have been so many.

My shudder reflex is still active.
I can’t watch this, but
I watch regardless—
in some small way so he 
would not die without witness,
after witness, after witness, after….

How do I write about this? 
What can I say as poignant
as his own begging? 
What can I say as meaningful
as the tears of his own family?

Seriously, 
what am I supposed to do?

If he were my son,
I’d want the world to burn too.

 
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Posted by on September 6, 2020 in Culture, Poetry, Social

 

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The names of the dead were hushed at Kings Buffet.

It is one year since the shootings at Marjory Stoneman Douglas Highschool in South Florida. While we wish it could have been the last, already, there have been others.

The students, the citizens, of March for our Lives have been criticized for eclipsing the names of the people who died, but, as David Hogg said, while he understands that, they are working to make sure there comes a time when there are no more people who die this way, so their deaths will not have been for nothing. They are working tirelessly to make sure sure this becomes a reality.

In the meantime, so many. So many I can’t recall them all. Columbine was not the first. Virginia Tech. Sandy Hook. Marjory Stoneman Douglas. And the next one.

The names of the dead were hushed at Kings Buffet.

From the single TV,
High in the corner
Above the frozen soft-serve machine,
The steam table full of sesame chicken,
Broccoli and tofu,
Happy family,
On the screen
A man in a suit behind
A lectern answers questions
And announces
Now,
He will read the names of the dead.

Above the clinking plates he
Solemnly, slowly reads through
The taps of forks
The first name
Slips his lips
And, then, the music swells
From harp, guquin, violin and flute
But it was just that someone
Turned up the volume
From the wall-speakers above the salad bar
So the names continue to drop
To the sound of Mandarin and music
So the names continue to fall
To the sound of the ice and soda machine
And I can not hear them,
Didn’t know them,
Will not even know their names.

There seems little to do.
Eat my fish and think,
How I am, here, now.

In the last classroom
Twenty-one students were saved by their professor
Who used his body to bar the door
Before the shooter shot him through.
A holocaust survivor,
He had died before and for less.
It is good to know why you lived.

 
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Posted by on February 13, 2019 in Culture, Poetry, Social

 

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You Almost Died

Today several times
You almost died
Without even knowing it
Disaster nearly struck

On your way to or from
There was the car
You didn’t see
Swerving around you
Recklessly

On the street were
Myriad near misses
And close calls as
You went about

Running errands
Among the people
You turned your head
Just before the cough
That would have

Laid you low
Along with the multiple
Diseases looking to latch
Onto to you and
The carrier who stayed home

Because she felt too ill
To go out or
The man who chose to
Leave the gun

In the case or
Took it out
Only on himself
Instead of the world
And you were

Unaware of all but
One you did notice that
Left you shaking
And whispering thanks.

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2019 in Poetry, Uncategorized

 

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Masks

I buried your masks
Today, in the warm sun,
In the shade of the oaks,
Where one day
There will be laughter,
Where the squirrels play,
Where the woodpecker nests,
Where the songbirds drop seeds.
First the gauze and plaster mold
That rested against your face,
Then the plaster decorated
As though you were a queen.

Now that there is a house
I am safe in,
I can stay in, and
No one can make me leave,
I can bury them.

A deep hole and a kiss
Longer than expected—
The contour of your lips,
A pause, a deep breath—
And no words.
There is nothing left to say.
Everything said
Has been said before.

I had thought to bury them
Under the plumeria,
Though you always loved trees
Far more than flowers.

But I might plant some flowers anyway.

 
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Posted by on June 21, 2018 in Family, Poetry

 

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Something Holy

I heard the jingling of a collar last night. Throughout the house, the tag against tag. I could hear them jangling from the denim in the cadence of her jaunt, side to side, side to side.

I looked outside. No dog. Certainly none inside. Back to bed, then, the jingling toward the room, side of the bed, stopped.  I slept well.

I can’t remember when she left. A year? Two? But I remember her eyes. And the sound of her heart.  As well as I remember her gutteral moan and her whistle. The rhythm of her step. How her face fit perfectly in the curve under my knee when she leaned into me. And how she looked at me when I knew she wanted it over.  Her eyes, if they had been human, could not have made them more holy. img_20160707_10240101

Something Holy

I’ll find something holy in this.
In the blood and the vomit,
The urine and sad almond eyes.
Bodies come from the Earth,
And these are of the body.
So I will find something holy in this.

I will find something holy in the
Seizures, tetany, drugs,
The cost in dollars and sense.
In time, I’ll find something holy in this.

I will find something holy in the
Far-off stare, in the long breaths,
In the scent of wheat because
She always smelled like wheat
And was the color of golden bread
And, certainly, there is something holy in that.

I’ll find something holy in the last breath,
The closing of the eyes that won’t reopen,
The beat that slows, stops,
Leaves memory. And certainly,
There is something holy in that.

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2018 in Family, Poetry

 

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Object Permanence

There is a story you’d tell,
winter evenings,
of parents with linked hands,
a chain down the steep iced-hill,
a wall held on to
by the children going to school.
One by one, each making
his or her way, over the ice,
parent to parent, top to bottom,
slippery to safe, home to school.
And when the day was done,
back again, hand over hand,
climbing the hill,
school to home again,
in the safety of
parent to parent to parent.

When school was cancelled,
sledding from the top of the
snowy street to the bottom
where the traffic sped passed
with no idea to stop
and you’d say
how did we survive our childhood.

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2018 in Poetry

 

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