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The Feather and the Weight

Someone asked me if I remembered the good times. Why I could remember the details of the bad times, but not recall the specifics of all the good ones. I answered.

Because the good times are so much more ephemeral. Evanescent. Even among the grandness of life, the good, the joyous, is found in the seemingly insignificant, made up of moments, small kindnesses, sincere unbidden smiles, the touch of the hand, a glance. Whispers. They possess an ineffability that affects us deeply but leaves its mark on our inner world. Like religious experience, they are hard to grasp, but exist no less. Over time, they add up to goodness. Each not so different than another, but with a feeling of being filled with goodness though one may cast about for specific examples.

And the bad times. They come like startling punches to the gut amid the good moments. So surprising, the shock embeds the details in memory.

Some days we get up, look outside at the gorgeousness of the day. And we feel filled with joy and delight. But what particular sunny day do you recall? How many? But the storms amid them? The horrific storms we remember, blow by blow.

The good becomes ubiquitous. The bad embeds in space and time.

The good does not diminish but persists even though we cannot point to it.

And the bad can fade, unless it is refreshed. Unless the storms come again, and again. Punched too often, one becomes sore and shy.

It doesn’t minimize the goodness at all. But our memory treats them differently. Joy and trauma do not process the same way. Pleasure and pain are not remembered alike.

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2013 in philosophy, psychology

 

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If I Could Show You Your Heart

If I could show you
Your own heart
You would fall
In love with you.

You would see what I see:
The Universe flaming into being
And newborn light
Leaping from star to star.

You would see
The birth of suns
Comets spinning into space
And planets coming to life,
Life upon life.

You would see
Celestial bodies in love
Drowning in each other
And their children
Populating the skies.

If I could show you
Your own heart
You could see mine
Deep inside, smiling.

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2013 in Poetry

 

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When I held You

The moment I held you,
nested with your body,
wed thigh to thigh,
belly to back,
breath to your neck.
The moment I held you
The sigh, the sleep
my hand rising and falling
with each of your breaths,
you, my inspiration.
The moment I held you
when your body let go,
when your soul, let loose,
held to mine, soul to soul,
and I could no longer tell
whose soul belonged to who.
The moment I held you
when the distance disappeared,
when separation ceased,
when all became you and me
became we and naught else existed
but us and still you are all with which
I am filled.

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2013 in philosophy, Poetry, Uncategorized

 

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Just some thoughts I had today. For what they are worth.

Don’t be something you are not. Don’t do things just because you think it is what someone else will want, or so that person won’t be angry, or sad, or lonely.  Not for anyone. Don’t change anything for anyone just because you think it’ll make someone happy. It is ingenuine.  It is a form of dishonesty.  The other person will never know if it is really your desire or just you doing what you think someone else wants. It will end in distrust, even if your intentions were good.

How you are is not your fault. Your past, your habits, your reactions. None of it. Until that very moment when you find something you dislike or want to change.  Then it is your fault if it continues, your responsibility if it remains. The moment you find something you want to change, it is no longer blamable on the past.

Don’t go to sleep angry. You’ve heard that before.  But it is good advice. Don’t. Not at a spouse, or your kid, or your boss, or the government, or the world.  Breathe and let it go. You might not wake up. Don’t go to sleep angry.  And when you make up, wake up to see a smile, or the bright sun, or to falling rain, or to something that is sweet, because it may be the last time you wake, may be the last day you see. Fill your day with harmony and sweetness, because you may not see the next day. Why have anything on your last day that isn’t sweet? If anything gets in the way of harmony and sweetness, change how you feel about it or remove it.

Even pain can be sweet. But drama never is.

People love you and have helped you. Love and help them. Be there for them. Even if you have the short end of the bargain from time to time.  But don’t let gratitude, or love, or fear, yours or theirs, hold you hostage.  If you do, the relationship is built on something ingenuine.

Be you. The best you you can be. If you like something about you, or if it works for you, don’t change it. Not for anyone or anything. If there is something you don’t like, or if it doesn’t work for you, change it, no matter what others feel about it. You get this shot at this life only.

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2013 in Family, philosophy, psychology, Social

 

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Recognizing Kali in a Young Girl

This is the first poem of mine I had ever heard read aloud. I had wondered about my poetry, whether it was any good or not. Whether it was worthy of publication in any way.  I had been reading the works of my favorite poets, Piercy and Ciardi and Millay, wondering if I would ever like my own work as much. No, I was sure. No.

One late night, after a campfire and dinner with friends, driving from Jonesville back home to Gainesville, Florida, the radio on a local station, we listened to a show with a variety of music and poetry and prose. A poem came on, introduced not at all, without a title, and I listened, mind fixed solidly on the words and rhythm. This, this, I said to Lee, this is what I wish my work sounded like. I wish I could write like this.

A stanza or two in, I said this. Lee elbowed me, said, “but,” and I asked her to let me finish listening to it first. She elbowed me again and said, “That IS your poem.” I believe this was followed by an eye-roll.  And, yes, indeed, it was.

And it was as I wanted it to sound. Said what I wanted a poem to say. I had written something I would want to listen to.

And there went my excuses.

Recognizing Kali in a Young Girl

Sitting here by the side of a two-lane
watching no cars go by
and steam rise in plumes
from the gaping hood of my automobile,
my daughter and I on this lonely shoulder
sitting, waiting for help.
Waiting for assistance.

Standing to stare into the engine
in a testosterone ritual predating cars
and trucks and carriages,
carts and wheels,
I imagine an early progenitor of my gender
staring intently into the mouth of a horse
checking teeth, gums, breath,
looking at the legs and feeling he wanted to kick something
but having no tires available
grabbed the beast’s cannon bone with a sturdy hand,
checking for splints.

Bubbling and boiling,
maybe this car will never move again
and I’ll have no reason to sit within its space
confined with hope of forced conversation with the little girl
too old to want to talk with her father
and too innocent to know why.

Turning away from the beast
I look to the field:
wildflowers blooming
tall, short, colored like air and sun,
water and earth, dancing in the wind
with my daughter, swaying and swirling
with my daughter.

The old rabbis have said,
or so the Hassidic recount,
not a blade of grass grows,
not a leaf falls
that an angel does not make it so.
Classes of angels,
Cherubim, Seraphim,
cloud angels and insect angels,
grass angels and tree angels.
Angels, then, for sunlight and rain
and for home cooking and pizza joints.
Angels for taxes and funerals and sex.
Angels for car engines.
Angels for little girls.

And there she is,
crouching among the blooms,
picking iris and narcissus.
Harvesting angels.

(This poem, along with many others, can be found in various anthologies as well as my own book, The Phoenix and the Dragon: Poems from the Alchemical Transformation (Smithcraft Press), available, along with my other books, Tellstones: Runic Divination in the Welsh Tradition, and Bud the Spud, at your local bookstore, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo and elsewhere, for you reading needs, whether you like to hold books in your hands or read them on tablets or phones of Kindles or Nooks or, goodness gracious – so many options.  You can find my author profile on Amazon and please find me as well at GoodReads.)

 
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Posted by on February 7, 2013 in Culture, Family, Poetry, Religion, Social

 

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Shells

She walks along the weaving foam,
waves bright under the full moon,
picking up shells,
perfect shells,
white shells,
bright shells,
leaving footprints to
fill with glistening sea.

She wants them all.
Each shell, every shell.

Then, when her hand, her arm, are full,
returns them,
one by one,
in splendid moonlit arcs,
again to the sea,
walking away with one,
only one,
the first one.

 
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Posted by on January 28, 2013 in Nature, Poetry

 

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Bud the Spud named Best Children’s Book in Print or Ebook Published in 2012

“Smithcraft Press is pleased to announce that our Mensch-in-Chief, Adam Byrn Tritt, has won the Preditors & Editors™ Readers’ Poll for Best Children’s Book published during 2012! Bud The Spud was honored with reader comments like, “Gruesome fun—the illustrations are mind bending and the words tell a story that everyone needs to hear” and “Incredible book! what a great way to teach kids the benefits of activity and the draw backs to being a couch potato!” THANKS TO ALL WHO VOTED, AND CONGRATULATIONS, ADAM!”

I could not have said it better myself. So, if you still don’t have your copy of Bud the Spud, what are you waiting for?

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Books, Writing

 

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Make Bud the Best Print/Electronic Children’s Book published in 2012!

My first children’s book is up for an award.  Want me to win? Of course you do. Bud the Spud is high in the rankings and was #1, but not today. And there is only two days of voting left. YOU can change that. Make Bud the Best Print/Electronic Children’s Book published in 2012! Please please go to the Preditors & Editors™ Readers’ Poll Voting Page and VOTE NOW! And share the link if you will. Let’s see Bud launch like a spud from a potato-canon.
http://critters.org/predpoll/novelchildrens.shtml

Image

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2013 in Books, Writing

 

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A Rejection Letter

Hi, Mr. T____,

I have read through about half of the script for T_____ T_____ o_ M_____ a__ M_____.  I had thought, from your description, and from the first thirteen pages of your graphic novel, that it was tales. As in multiple. Perhaps it branches off into related tales. As a structure, that is something I could appreciate.

The second story, as a separate entity, is really a second chapter, seemingly, of the first (perhaps only) story. Not so much Tales of the Crypt meets Tarantino, as you had described it, but as as as… and there is where words fail me. Because I generally don’t watch horror films or films with dismemberment or films where there is stark, continuous, senseless brutality.

The second chapter, the elements of necrophilia, the cocaine use coupled with sex and violence toward women, left me, and you can call me sensitive if you like, really unable to read further. I stopped reading as the cop was contemplating having sex with the headless corpse, and had trouble even getting that far.

Controversial material, we can handle. Material of a sexual nature is no problem. But try as I might, I could not find any redeeming qualities to this. So, as far as promotion, I don’t know what on Earth we’d do because I could not suggest anyone read this. If I found this in my daughter’s room, I’d wonder what was wrong with her. If I found this in my son’s room, I’m ask him to seek help. If I published this, I think they’d ask me to seek counseling. In other words, I can’t stand behind the work as having value and, hence, they’d wonder what happened to my integrity. Or if I had a stroke.

I can suggest finding a specialty publisher. Perhaps there is one that specializes in snuff comics. Or Lulu.com, where you pay a fee to publish and it is at least out there for anyone who wishes to look for this sort of material. Then, you can find where those folks read, forums maybe, bus stations, or back alleys, and post about your book. Perhaps places that have posters of Anton LaVey. By the way, LaVey’s last words were, “What have I done, there is something very wrong”

I do want to point out that your dialogue is realistic. You seem to have a handle on how people talk to, and sometimes, at or parallel to each other. I can really hear it in the panels where the cop is snorting cocaine off the naked girl’s ass, slapping her in the head each time she tries to turn over. At least, I imagine that is what the dialogue would sound like. Since I have never imagined that before, I’ll have to take your word for it.

If you do any different material, I’d be more than happy to look at it.

Adam

Adam Byrn Tritt, MEd, LMT, CHt, MSU, Mensch-in-Chief for Smithcraft Press

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2012 in Books, psychology, Social, Writing

 

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I Met Yoko Ono

I met
Yoko Ono today
at an exhibit
of the artwork of John Lennon.

It was difficult
to see your past
through the line of patrons waving
credit cards, signing for thousands of dollars
for lithographs of song lyrics,
A Small Pig, Collieflower,
Erotic 1 through 3,
Drawings for Sean,
What’s Wrong With This Picture?

But there you were

Standing, small and quiet
unassumed and undisturbed.
Fame and Exile..

Once John imagined walking
you through the field of life
helping you
Watch the Holes, Yoko,
guiding you, yet
you were older, richer,
already an artist.
Where is your art now?
What do you say Yes to?

Opposite your images
surrounding you, his drawings
all you,
all naked, white, bright and plump,
you stand black, still, vacant, posthumous,
drawn and so thoroughly part of his creation
as though you were but sculpture,
but one more exhibit.

I expected to see a plaque next to you,
detailing the materials of your composition,
date of production, intention of creation
and a name. Artwork is so often titled
for that essence the form enfolds.
Lennon’s Tomb, perhaps.

We did not exchange a word.

 
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Posted by on November 28, 2012 in Culture, Poetry

 

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